“Everything was building to this”: The Postscript ep. 3
A personal note from me, with an update on my move to Croatia + a behind-the-scenes on my conversations with Sara, Claire, and Allison
Each month, between interviews, I hop on the mic to share a new episode of The Postscript: a new section of Women of Letters which features a life update from me + a behind-the-scenes look at my conversations with our recent guests—in this episode, sara nović, Claire Jia, and Allison T. Butler.
I talk about what my first month in Croatia has been like (both the good and the bad); how some of my other big moves over the years have gone and what I’ve learned from them that I’m applying to this one; why I always make it a priority to get things in writing; how I’ve recently gotten super into Instagram Reels, to the point that I now have 20 or 30 of them recorded on my phone; and the way that seemingly small moments or interactions can radically reshape our lives.
Hello, and welcome back! This is the third episode of The Postscript: a new section of Women of Letters I’ve been working on where, once a month, I hop on the mic for a one-on-one life update from me and a behind the scenes look at my conversations with our guests.
The big life update since the last episode, of course, is that I’ve now moved to Croatia! 🇭🇷
It’s been almost a month since I arrived, but it still feels really surreal to be here. It’s something that, for a long time, has felt so impossibly far in the distance that, now that I am here, I’m so happy even just to be walking down the street.
What I’ve also been feeling is a lot of pride from an awareness of all the things I’ve accomplished over the years that are now either making it possible or making it easier for me to be here. For example: as someone who, for a very long time, was a chronic overachiever, I’ve been really proud of having designed this initial stretch in the kind of thoughtful way where I have the time and the space to really be settling in properly.
I was very deliberate about basically clearing my calendar for this entire first month—I didn’t book any Women of Letters interviews, I took care of every possible doctor’s appointment before I left, I actively avoided scheduling meetings after I got here, and I’ve kept all of my work to an absolute minimum so far. My calendar has just been very intentionally wide open, and it feels really good and grounding to have been able to prioritize the kind of transition for myself where I could get everything accomplished without wreaking havoc on my nervous system (which was my go-to for years).
What also feels really good is being at a stage in my life where, after a lot of trial and error, I’ve now developed a really clear sense of what makes me happy and what won’t. It means a lot to now have an established understanding of, “These are the things I know I like. These are the things that are important to me. These are the things I need to do each day in order to do my best work. And these are the skills I’ve developed that I’m now able to put to use in bringing all of that together for myself.” It feels like everything was building to this in a really beautiful way.
For example: the primary thing that I’ve learned really gives my life meaning and brings me joy—lasting joy and contentment—is a feeling of community and connection to others. Time, in other words, spent with others, and in particular quality time with others in person. That was a big reason why I chose to move here, because that’s a major value of Croatian society. The community is really the centre of the society, and it’s built around that in ways that I haven’t experienced while living in Canada and the U.S.
To me, it’s a core dimension of the infrastructure here—the social infrastructure—in part because of the ways that this value is protected through legislation. e.g., A few years ago, there was legislation passed in Croatia around limitations on the working hours of retail stores on Sundays. The end result has been that everything is closed on Sundays, and by that I mean truly everything: 99% of everything that would typically be open is closed, including grocery stores. So you adapt your schedule knowing that, okay: Sunday is not a day for running errands. The streets are empty; people are at home.
All of which is to say that it’s been really fulfilling to arrive here, and to then go on to have these experiences, and be like, “I was right about that, and I was right about the effect it would have on me.”
Diving into our recent Women of Letters interviews… First up, we have my interview with Sara, who is an author and instructor that just came out with an amazing new memoir.
This didn’t come up during our interview, but Sara is also from former Yugoslavia! That was how I initially encountered her work; she’s written about that experience in different ways over the years, including in her debut novel, Girl At War, which is partially set in Zagreb in 1991. (That was the year the civil war broke out, and it was essentially the beginning of the end of Yugoslavia.)
Anyway—for that reason, Sara is someone who’s been on my radar for a long time. There were so many years where, anytime I learned that someone was a member of the ex-Yugo diaspora, I would make a mental note and immediately start to follow along with their work, because…
This episode of The Postscript continues on the podcast. You can listen to the full bonus episode—basically a 45-minute voice note from me—on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
